Beauty for Ashes

As I sit here and watch the 2014 Winter Olympic games, I see athletes who have been to previous Olympics.  Who thought they were at their prime then and now realize they had more to learn, they've trained better, strengthened their mind and body and are now more well rounded for the pressure and demands of the Olympic games.  It's easy to see how their past challenges have brought them to where they are now.  We see the forest.  They had to walk through the trees.

I know at other points in my life I have felt change blowing in.  Earlier this year I felt that.  Little did I know how many things would blow in, the greatest of which being the loss of my dad.  The details of my life, the things I struggle with are much like anyone else's life.  So I won't bore you with all of the specifics.  Bottom line...there seems to be a season change in progress.  Remember when I talked about the hermit crab we got.  The link to the post is there in case you missed it.  Part of me loves the excitement of change and the other part of me just wants to stay safe...even if the tank is crowded.

It's like the Olympians who think...this is it.  This is my one chance.  This is what I'm supposed to do!  And then there's a fall.  An injury.  Hope is gone.  They could stop trying or they could get back up and try again.  My Handsome Hubby and I repeatedly catch ourselves saying..."Can you imagine how much they have to practice to get to this point?!?! To get it right?!?!"  We could learn a lot from them.

Last night, we lay in bed and I said,  "I miss Dad.  I miss his encouragement and hope that he'd give when I was down or faced with a big challenge."  I went on saying, I know that I've been through a lot in life.  I can see how all of the big changes, big challenges, big sorrows, have brought with them great growth, joy, or opportunities.  I know this.  I read my devotions, my Bible, and it's like God is tapping me on the shoulder whispering gently, "Trust Diana, just trust," In Matthew 11:28-29 he says, Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 

I know this stuff.  But when I'm faced with my challenges...  When it seems like everything is so confusing and there is SO MUCH unknown.  It's tough for this human mind to trust.  Yet once we do it  is the easiest thing in the world.  My Handsome Hubby held me as I said, "How can you know something, have lived through challenges, seen the fingerprints of God all over your life, and still get discouraged when tough times come? Why is it I still struggle to see the forest in spite of the trees?"

Last night, I fell asleep to the lyrics of this song running through my head.  I hope it encourages you like it does me.  Click the link to the video in the song title below.


Beauty For Ashes 
written by Randy L. Scruggs; John W. Thompson.
Sung by Crystal Lewis

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

When sorrow seems to surround you
When suffering hangs hangs heavy o'er your head
Know that tomorrow brings wholeness and healing
God knows your need, just believe what He said

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

When what you've done keeps you from moving on
When fear wants to make itself at home in your heart
Know that forgiveness brings wholeness and healing
God knows your need just believe what He said

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

I once was lost but God has found me
Though I was bound I've been set free
I've been made righteous in His sight
A display of His splendor all can see

I once was lost but God has found me
Though I was bound I've been set free
I've been made righteous in His sight
A display of His splendor all can see

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

He gives beauty for ashes
Strength for fear
Gladness for mourning
Peace for despair

Picking my Battles in Simplifying Christmas

So it's Christmas and like everyone else...I'm busy beyond belief.  We have Christmas programs in church and at school.  We have shopping to do.  We have a trip to Minnesota coming up that includes a long drive and packing traveling food.  Doctor and chiropractor appointments are in the mix the next two weeks along with school and just general life.  I need to make 2 or 3 more Christmas gifts, wrap our family ones, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.  You get the picture.  I'm sure you could give me a list that is WAY longer than the one I listed.

My point in all of this is to pick your battles.  We complain about Christmas being too commercial.  Christmas is too stressful.  There is just too much to do.  We create our own prison in many ways.  So my tips for enjoying Christmas more...

Choose a few traditions for your family
Traditions are important.  I GET that.  I like that.  Choose a few that work for you.  Ones that aren't too stressful.  Whether it is an Advent calendar, Elf on the Shelf, Santa Claus, decorating the tree together, matching jammies, you pick!  This year with my dad's passing...I pared down some.  We decorated the tree together in our new Christmas pajamas, revisiting each ornament that was given with each year of their life.  We set up the kiddo and adult nativity set, talking about who each character was and retelling the story of Christ's birth.  We placed their newest ornament on the tree.  That was it.  Later, we'll open gifts and stockings and make our Baby Jesus Birthday cake.

Keep the Gifts Simple
Every year we struggle with how much or how little to give.  We're not perfect and would NEVER claim to be.  A neighbor explained how they were simplifying Christmas giving and it inspired me to follow suit.  So this year...other than their stockings...our boys have 4 gifts total.  They have one gift from each other and 3 from us.  We choose not to do Santa but still teach the story of who St. Nicholas was.  He was a "real" man who did kind things because he was a follower of Christ.  We keep our spending to a minimum.  Some of our things are second hand but in like new condition.  That is ok in our book.  If we can save some money here and there and put it towards college what a wonderful gift for later on!  The Wise men brought 3 gifts to Jesus and we have 3 gifts for our sons.

Make it a Christmas for ALL to Enjoy
I love making everyone else happy but the risk with that...is losing sight of taking care of my own physical and emotional well being in the process.  HELLO!  I HAD A HEART ATTACK!  For goodness sakes...I was a professional perfectionist that berated and held myself to a higher standard that anyone else.  Christmas is for your entire family.  If you're so strung out tired and stressed from creating Advent or Elf on the Shelf Activities and baking more than the Cake Boss...then your entire family will suffer.  Enjoy it!  If that means one year you have to scale it back and the next you can add more stuff in...then do it.

Christmas isn't about the activities, or the gifts, or the cookies, or the music.  All of those things add to the wonder of it and are in celebration of one incredible thing...Christ's birth.  Our Redeemer, the infant King who came to Earth to die for and cover all of our sins.  A baby who pooped, peed, teethed, nursed, slept, and learned how to walk like our kids.  We celebrate and make it an event because IT IS ONE!  If you celebrate your children's birthdays then for goodness sakes celebrate the birth of our Saviour!  But if you lose sight of His birth in all the hustle and bustle of societies standards, that doesn't mean you shouldn't celebrate it...it just means you need to use your filter and figure out how to make it significant in your family.

I'm not sure if this made sense.  It's just the ramblings of a tired mom who sees many people doing it up BIG so it's not about Christ anymore and the opposite end of the spectrum doing it up small so it seems like it's just another day.  Use common sense.  Pray about it.  Use moderation.

I hope I can share in the wonder and joy of Christmas with my kids like my parent's did.  My dad used to sit quietly on the couch smiling as we opened gifts not even touching his own.  My mom, likewise sat by his side with a smile on her face.  Enjoy it...Merry Christmas!

Waiting...

Waiting for the big stuff is hard.  There's no way around it though.  When I was single I was waiting to meet the right guy.  When I met him we had to wait for our wedding day to arrive and my house in another state to sell.  While pregnant we had to wait for the birth. Then there are all the little things...teething to be done, learning to walk, learning to talk, etc.  

We're in a holding pattern now that has lasted for quite some time.  I went to my hairdresser this weekend and she said, "you seem so calm today."  I had to think about it for just a moment. I think what was different is that in this wait I reached my breaking point and realized at my core that it's not worth stressing about. Everything is truly in God's hands and as hard as it is...sometimes for the big things in life and the little things in life...you just have to wait and be ok with what is.

So if you're waiting, please know you're not alone.  There are others out there waiting too.  

However, more importantly, God is there to help carry the load.

They that wait upon The Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles.  They shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not faint.  Isaiah 40:31