Thursday, September 6, 2012

Taking Time to Slow Down

I know I just posted but I also wanted to share an anecdote of something that happened this weekend.  Our oldest superhero starts preschool this week, which is a big deal in our world.  He's had a very busy month of August filled with camping trips, starting to share his room with his little bro, company, etc.  He is a very articulate boy and has a very soft heart.  In the past, pre-heart attack, it was easy for me to get caught up with what needed to get done in the house (especially when I had a lot of catching up to do) and lose sight of what was boys.

So on Labor Day, Superhero #1 was getting frustrated with something and that catalyst caused him to cry and be angry.  He told me he was frustrated and he wanted to throw what he was playing with.  He told me he was mad and didn't feel like he could stop crying right now. He said he wanted my help but didn't want my help.  He said he was confused.  Now as the mom with a task list a mile long, I could have sent him to his room to get a handle on his emotions.  But I've learned to recognize through this whole health ordeal that just need to be loved and they'll calm down and be happy the rest of the day.

So I gathered Superhero #1 up into my arms and just held him.  He talked.  I listened.  I didn't threaten. I just reflected what he said.  He did lose the toy he was frustrated with for 30 minutes or until he truly calmed down.  Then I did something that I have found calms him every time.  I reminded him that he is important.  He is loved.  He is special.  Everyone needs that but especially kids!  I told him about my pregnancy with him and our excitement.  I told him about labor pains and how he didn't want to come out for 31 hours.  I told him about how when he did arrive I cried tears of joy and told my hubby "you have a hunting buddy!".  I told him how I checked his little hands, legs, arms, belly, toes and face and found him to be perfect just the way he is.  And in that 10 minutes of stopping to remind him that he was loved and truly cherished I saw the tears stop.  I saw a smile come to his face.  I heard a boy ask "Tell me more Mama about the day I was born."  And it brought tears to my eyes because I felt so completely blessed.  I also ached for the children who don't hear that.  The ones sent to their rooms every time they show emotion or just ignored completely or told to toughen up, big boys don't cry.  Don't get me wrong...both of my boys have had time-outs.  They're not perfect.  But I've found there is truth in the verse from Proverbs 15:1 about a "Soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger."

So today...take the time to slow down and truly look at those around you.  If they're hurting...choose the soft answer and take the time to truly hear them.  It changed our entire day and made one very happy little boy.

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