Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Opening Up Each Moment

One of the things I value most about working with kids and having kids of my own is how everything can be seen through their eyes if we just take the time to listen and "be" with them.  I'm trying to soak up every moment of time with my boys.  You see...I desperately want more children.  My heart and soul aches for them but we're trying to see what direction God wants us to go at this point.  Every milestone, every moment, every laugh, every look of sheer is cherished these days as it should always be.

I look tired in the picture above.  My younger one has been up with growing pains the past 3 nights and I'm trying to get back into the 5-7 day per week workout routine while trying to keep and maintain that fine balance of being a mom, a wife, and a person who exercises 5+ hours per week.  But I wouldn't trade the sleepless nights for anything.  It's the time I get to snuggle with an almost 3 year old boy who is usually moving non-stop during the day.  The time I have his fuzzy head nuzzled next to the crook of my neck hearing him breathe and smelling his little boy sweat.

My older son, just got his first pair of glasses.  I almost cried seeing the excitement and joy on his face as he realized the picture books from the library had more words and the pictures were so "crisp and clear".  To think of what he'd been missing?  All those coloring sheets he hated in school.  All that handwriting work?  All that stuff he couldn't see but quietly  and without complaining did.  It breaks my heart.  Now he wears his glasses proudly right up until he crawls into bed.  He sets them carefully into his case every night and gently cleans them with his special cloth every morning.

I know it seems I'm rambling and in fact I am to some extent but there is a point.  Just be patient with me.   I had my cardiology check-up today and it went well.  I'm shifted to the yearly schedule instead of the 6 month schedule.  I feel good.  I did gain 6 pounds since the last visit which was a bummer but he wasn't concerned.  I type that here to be honest and to hold myself accountable.  I can't keep slipping...I'm 12 pounds from my heart attack weight.  In all honesty...I've been lazy.  I let life get away from me and stepped away from my commitment to work-out.  I've snacked a bit more.  Cheated a bit more.  And I can see it and feel it.

I seem to be hyper-aware of the time we have on this earth these days and making my moments matter.  I'm sitting on the floor and playing more.  We've gotten rid of a few more overflow toys so there's less cleaning for me to do.  In 3 weeks time, we've had friends over for 2 dinner parties, been to a dinner party and are having another one tomorrow.  I want to enjoy the moments I have left here and also make the moments impact others in a positive way.

All of these little snapshots are mundane, day to day things that could seem meaningless.  We're in a reality t.v. show society that enjoys and thrives on drama.  So much in fact that the media and even individuals try to create their own drama to make life more exciting.  But in the midst of that we forget to enjoy the simple everyday.  The moments that we can choose to be frustrating or fun.  The moments we can choose to enjoy or get uptight about.  The moments we can choose to work or play.  

I'm not saying we shirk every duty or that we can't ever be serious...but I am saying that God gave us a gift.  He's given me a second chance at life.  I can enjoy this gift He's given me or I can whine, complain, pout, micro-manage, clean, or get frustrated about everything until I've somehow sucked out all the joy from the life that He's tried to hand to me on a silver platter.  Don't just wait for the big moments.  

Enjoy the sweaty head snuggles at 3 in the morning when you just want to be sleeping.  Enjoy the endless hours of playing Thomas the Train, tower building, Hot Wheels, and playground play.  Enjoy the laughter, the giggles, the stories, their innocence, the butterfly chasing, dragonfly spotting, and talking to the bird feeder birds.  Engage in it.  Be part of it.  Don't sit on the sidelines.  Life's too short and every single moment is a gift.  Open each moment with the joy and wonder you had as a child.

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